Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
