I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
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