I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
