Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
