im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
