at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
