Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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