Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
