Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize