i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm bleeding and have questions
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
