Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize