take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
