1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
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