I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
