I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize