It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
