I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
