and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
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I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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