Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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