I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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