Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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