spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
All the doctor said was why
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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