i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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