I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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