y did u give ur computer a hand job?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize