she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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