so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
