Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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