I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
