On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 2 1 whiskey
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize