How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
