OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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