I CAN MOONWALK!
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
