Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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