How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
