My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
