Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
