lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
