Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
