Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize