okay pat passed out under dana's car
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
