He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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