i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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