Tell her she can't have a vagina
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
now i know why i became what i already was.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
