Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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