don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
