Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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