I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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