Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Did you just see the Batmobile???
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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