I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
