hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
