Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize