Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Someone signed my nipple.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
