Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
