Hey man sorry I got all grabby
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
