Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
