I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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