woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize