Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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