Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
