it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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