Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
